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“2″ is code for “make everyone hate me”
(7 votes, average: 4.71 out of 5)
Loading ...People who take the elevator to go 1 floor
People who take the stairs
The other people on the elevator were NOT happy when I was taking this picture.
America has a major obesity problem. What a person weighs is related to two things, and two things only: how much crap you stuff in your face, and how much you use your body. So I think it’s safe to say that taking the elevator 1 floor is one of the top two direct causes of obesity in America. You can’t fight facts.
Americans have invented countless things to help them avoid expelling any effort throughout the day. Chairs have wheels on them. Email and phone allow you to talk to people without leaving your chair. People drive their cars 1 block to get coffee at Starbucks. And don’t even get me started on the Segway - the two-wheeled douche roller that will make us yearn for the days when knees and elbows were still visible and not covered by fat rolls.
I work on the second floor of a building and thus face this temptation every day. When I was in college, taking an elevator one floor could get you killed. Actually, if you took the elevator 2 or 3 floors, that was even considered a criminal act that would earn you some very bold stares, and very occasionally someone would speak up. The speaking was either passive: “unbelievable…”, or active: “are you kidding me?”. But most of the time, the communication of disgust was nonverbal; especially when a particularly overweight individual would join you on the lobby level - you just knew they were going to hit 2.
These days, however, it’s not socially acceptable to confront this laziness with words. The nonverbal element is there, but mostly reserved for when the perp has exited the elevator and the doors are just about closed. It’s much more passive aggressive, but it doesn’t mean that we don’t think you’re a complete moron for taking the elevator one floor. Rest assured, you’ve been labeled and we all hate you.
I’d like to get a little more raw on this topic, but I can’t start profiling these single-floor riders without looking like an asshole. I suppose the anonymity of the comments might be a good forum: what type of person is a single-floor rider? Talk amongst yourselves.
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7 Responses to ““2″ is code for “make everyone hate me””
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I can’t believe you took that picture… probably the funniest part of the post.
No offense.
Hey, sometimes the job puts me in places I’d rather not be, but you’ve gotta put food on the table.
Sadly.. I “might” be one of those peeps… but only in one of the buildings we own.
I can’t help they put security locks on the second floor with no badge access, and I only use the elevator up to the floor, never when leaving.
Granted.. I want zip lines installed so we can run from the 17th to the 2nd floor in 5 seconds flat.
“get raw on the topic….” Seriously? GET RAW!!! Those who lash back and say you are wrong are the same guilty one floor riders. Let them expose them self.
Since when has “looking like an asshole” been a deterrent to you?
Soul, I’m not afraid to get raw on you…don’t tempt me. I’ll get sushi raw on your ass and you won’t even know what happened. And truthfully, I don’t even know what that means. So I guess you’re safe. For now.
Will, I’m not even going to dignify that. I am a gentleman and that’s final. Any experiences you have that suggest otherwise are a figment of your imagination.
Finally, I committed a huge office crime yesterday. I was very tired and hung over and pushed the button on floor 2 of the office…to go down to floor 1. As soon as I realized what I did, I walked away. As I rounded the corner, I heard it: “DING!”…….(doors opening sound)……(silence)…..someone yells “what the FUCK!? seriously?”…..(doors close).
That made my heart smile.
[...] “2″ is code for “make everyone hate me” [...]
I’m one of these obese people everyone’s pissed about, and even I don’t take the elevator to the second floor. I usually save that tin can from hell for journeys to the fourth or fifth floor.