Sep
11
Overzealous Elevator Embarkers
Filed Under at work
Shampoo: People who wait for elevator disembarkers
Conditioner: People who regularly experience human on human collisions
So the elevator dance happened to me just this morning. Doors open, I’m ready to hop off and start my day, and wham, there’s some dude who has apparently never used an elevator, as ready to get on as I am to get off. The clear rules of elevator etiquette outline that people coming off of the elevator have the right-of-way, and the fact that I see an almost daily example of this simple rule being broken disturbs me.
Thankfully, I avoided a man collision this morning, but it was a near miss. The guy realized his error and turned his body just in time for the exitees to pass by without incident, but I sit here wondering now, did he learn anything from this, or will I always have to be suspicious of him in the future? Should it ever happen that I ride on the elevator with him and we mutually witness this act of social stupidity, will I have the strength to turn to this man and say “SEE?” Worse yet, will I profile this guy and people like him in the future? I hope I am not an elevator bigot, but trauma begets judgement: I do know that I am particularly ready for this to happen when I’m in a heavily IT-populated building, as these people are mentally sidetracked with trying to figure out what the best mixture of magic potions will power up their knight in World of Warcraft, and not on the real world that surrounds them.
The worst offenders are the ones who have confidence in their decision to be idiots and continue plowing through the crowd like it’s the last train home and the doors are closing. I get a mental picture of a Tokyo subway car where hundreds of men in their suits, carrying their semi-pornographic comic books, are slapping up against each other like fish in a bucket, trying to get on and off of the train at the same time. It’s really a disgusting human behavior, actually, and I really hope it stops. The thought of it alone kept me from going to the Olympics this year.
This is America, people. The land of the free. Wide open spaces. It’s awkward enough being stuck in a box with 6 other people where talking is off-limits. Let me get out of the social avoidance chamber as quickly as I can, and then you can have your ride. It’s simple.
Comments
Leave a Reply