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People who hear what you say

People who hear what the voices say

I have had at least 4 conversations in the last week that went something like this:

“I think that we should do X, but we should do Y first”

“Why do you not like X?”

“I do like X, but I think Y makes more sense right now”

“I just can’t talk to you if you don’t like X”

“I do like X!!!”

“Well that is the first time that you said you thought X was a good idea. Thank you!”

This is the work equivalent of the game “telephone” that kids play on the playground about 2 years before they start doing hard drugs (I heard a 12 year old in the mall talking about getting high). You know, the game where one kid says, “Mrs. Johnson has a fanny head”, the message is passed around a circle of people whispering into each others’ ears, and ends up being something like “Principal Swanson saw me naked”.

Anyhow, if you watch people who are non-listeners or otherwise possessed by words from the other side, you can actually see it happen:

Movie_i_see_dead_people

The person you’re talking to goes through three stages, which I would liken to a blindfolded track & field event.

Ready: The person you’re talking to is listening. They look relaxed and attentive. You are communicating.

Set: The person has heard all that they’re going to hear, which is usually about the first 8 words of what you said, even though you talked for 40 seconds. This stage is commonly signaled by an open mouth (they are on the blocks), a lot of head movement, and a lot of single-syllable sounds coming out of the listener: “But…”, “Well…”, “Uh….”, “Yes…” – the equivalent of false starts on the track.

Go: You have wrapped up your point, knowing pretty well that what you’re about to hear relates only to the first 8 words of your points and a refrigerator-poetry rearrangement of your following words. The listener explodes into the rebuttal of a point someone in some other room speaking some other language made 4 countries away in 1967. The blindfolded race equivalent of the sprinter on the inside lane running into the infield and catching a javelin in the shoulder.

Even if you leave the office, it’s no different. My family has the collective attention span of a goldfish on meth and Thanksgiving looks like band practice at the school for the deaf & blind. My friends are better, but those conversations are more like “Yeah, I think Obama’s economic policy leaves me wonderi– hey did you see that ass?”, so there’s really not that much to get out of those in the first place.

I’m going to do my best today to listen to what people are saying. I’m not sure what the hell they’re talking about or how it applies to me, and I know that everything will be fine once they hear what I have to say, but I’ll let their noiseboxes run out of air before I bring the gospel to them. You have to kick one back to the little guy every now and then.

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September 25, 2008 | Filed Under at work, in general 

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