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Free lunch people
(2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
Loading ...People who love free lunch at the office (or anywhere)
People who are not strangely obsessed with saving $6
So this one is a real wonder of mine. What in the hell is so great about free lunch? Why, when the foil feeding trays of man slop roll in, does the office go abuzz?
Hello, Darling. I know you are condiment-less, but I want you and know you come with a dried-out oatmeal cookie.
I might not know much in this world, but I do know that I have never had a free lunch that didn’t taste like my desk:
- Pizza: it is impossible to bake 30 pizzas and then deliver them without them looking like a Salvador Dali painting. I do not like my pizza rare. I do not like “crust” that takes the shape of my fingers as I hold a slice. I do not like digging the cheese off of the box top and re-adhering it to the semi-cooked dough. FAIL
- Sandwiches: I subscribe to the idea that I would never eat at a restaurant that makes the same things I make at home. Sandwiches, by and large fall into this category. Sub sandwiches, rubens, melts, etc. are things I probably don’t make at home, so I’m fine with that, but if you slap sliced meats on a bagel or white bread, you deserve to go out of business. If you serve said sandwich without condiments, you deserve to also be slapped. And if you put one of those tomato slices that has the green, hard center that is going to make one of my teeth come out when I eat it, you deserve to be jailed.
- Tacos / BBQ: You might as well put a stick of food dynamite on our computers and notepads. There is no situation where BBQ or tacos make any sense inside of a work environment. I don’t enjoy eating cold dog ribs dipped in KC Masterpiece. And I especially don’t enjoy trying to write on a taco-meat soaked legal pad or type with my grease fingers.
So the food is bad, the experience is bad, the savings are minimal, and you don’t get out of the office for a midday break. I really cannot see a positive.
Let me know what you think on this one. Are you a free lunch lover? What are you going to do with your $36 you saved this year?
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