TATTOPITW
there are two types of people in the world – sometimes updated weekdaily

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Can you hear me now?

I: People who say they’re underpaid

II: People who choose to not spend their money on bluetooth headsets, shoes, purses, and ties they can’t afford.

Too soon?

I guess it’s just struck me as funny that I’m listening to someone with $1,000 of blinking and blinging accessories complain about how their boss doesn’t know what they “got”. I can work anywhere. I’m damn good at my job. That stupid mother-…

I have a lot of these priceless moments on elevators where taking a picture – or better yet a video – of what I’m seeing just might get me killed. Gas stations and fast food restaurants (where I’ve been spending way too much time lately) come in a close second and third for “what the hell did I just see?”, and are equally as difficult to document, so I guess you’re just going to have to trust me.

A few weeks ago, I was eating at Houston’s and I saw a gentleman walk in with no less than 5 cell phones / blackberries strapped to his belt “holster style”. Both ears were filled with bluetooth headsets (different brands – you’d think you want symmetry in this case) and he had some big ass headphones around his neck with the cord running down to one of the many boxes in his waist-mounted Best Buy kiosk. Truthfully, this was a small miracle I was witnessing: the belt itself ran just under the last shred of ass-curvature that might keep his jean shorts (yeah, keeping you guessing here) up on his body, yet in full stride and with no assistance, those pants stayed put. Rubber waistband? Suspenders? Shear will? A small zone of zero gravity? I may never know.

It’s just nice to know that the American way of spending what you don’t have is still rolling right along. Oh, hang on, my rear-right celly is blowin’ up. Must be Europe…

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