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Fear flying? Fear geese!

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People who are afraid of flying

People who have not been programmed by the media to think that every flight has a 97% chance of ending in your death, a very hurty, nasty death where you will probably catch on fire and drown at the same time because of light turbulence or someone leaving their cell phone on

So if you’re not living under a rock, you’ve heard about the plane crash in New York.  You’ve also seen the spot-on reporting, reminding us all that the goose population has risen 400%, that the climate change is increasing turbulence, and that the majority of pilots prefer to fly just a little bit drunk.  It helps take the edge off.

fighter-geese

While we’ve had our eyes on Afghanistan, Canada has been raising and training geese in camps, virtually guaranteeing that double-engine bird strikes will happen on more flights originating near the Canadian border.

My wife is afraid of flying.  Not really flying itself – the part in the middle.  She’s just afraid of the “beginning to fly”, or takeoff, and the “almost no longer flying”, the landing.  Statistically, these are the times when most accidents happen, but also statistically, you’re more likely to be attacked by a rabid unicorn than experience any sort of life-threatening issue on an airplane.  So really, the fear is justified.

One of the things that always strikes me as funny is that my wife also hates it when the plane turns or banks somewhat sharply after takeoff.  Inevitably, she looks over at me with perfectly round, bugged eyes and says, “Why are they turning?  Why do they have to do that!?”  I can’t resist: I almost always reply, “because we’re not going to Cuba today.”

This is not something she finds funny until much later in the day.

So listen: I can understand the fear of flying.  The media gets a hold of this stuff and goes haywire.  In their computer simulation of the “crash” yesterday, a “crash” pilots would probably describe as a “flight anomaly”, NBC this morning showed a model of the plane approaching the Hudson, nosediving, when in fact there is no way that the plane approached the water at that angle.  If that were the case, there would be a wing wedged into the 65th floor of the Empire State building.

It bothers me that the media is sensationalizes this stuff to the point of making people abandon the safest mode of travel in existence.  Who wouldn’t look at a plane approaching water at a 45-degree angle and think, “If I was on that flight, I would be sitting in my own doo-doo.”  But those weren’t the facts of the case.

The irony of this all is that a big news post went out just the day before this incident, saying that we’ve gone two years without a fatality from a major airliner accident.  We still haven’t, but there’s no doubt in my mind that yesterday has grounded more than a few people.

So a positive message today, folks.  Go get help with your fear of flying.  It’ll help you in other places, too.

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January 16, 2009 | Filed Under travel 

comments

5 Responses to “Fear flying? Fear geese!”

  1. Whit on January 16th, 2009

    For the record, I’m actually afraid of the part in the middle of the flight, too.

  2. Heather R on January 16th, 2009

    I saw the geese and almost laughed out loud. I complealtly agree. 9/11 didn’t even ground me. I flew home for Thanksgiving that year. There weren’t as many lines as the year before for some reason. It was nice. And cool seeing M-16s all over.

  3. Mom3 on January 16th, 2009

    Don’t forget about the part when your wife finally blinks, and the crocodile tears come down. You have to admit, landing sideways in Wausau was an adventure
    You really are funny.

  4. Mike on January 28th, 2009

    The scary part for me was that is the exact flight I have taken quite a few times lately and plan to again.. On the one hand I feel that statistically the odds of it crashing AGAIN are very low. On the other hand, it seems like all the airplane problems in the US in the last 10 years have to do with LaGuardia.

    On the other other hand, it seems that the main reason no one died is that they were in new york harbor which was completely full of boats that could save them fast. So now I will feel more nervous when flying from any city with no water and/or not many boats in said water… which is most.. great..

  5. Evan on January 28th, 2009

    You can’t have three hands.

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