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there are two types of people in the world – sometimes updated weekdaily

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Sick People Make Me Sick

People who come to work when they’re sick

People who stay at home when they’re sick

Ok, yes, I missed yesterday. Why? Because I am sick. And why am I sick? Because someone else who was sick came to work and rubbed their sickness all over our workplace like a cat in heat.

I know, I know; this is a very complicated idea that is incredibly difficult to understand: people get sick from other sick people. If you are a sick person, you can get other people sick. Let that sink in for a while. Actually, why don’t you let that sink in for a few days at home.

I think one of the big reasons that people come into work sick these days is because they are trying to be career-oriented. Once, a few years ago, I called in sick and said that I could still be on a conference call later in the day, but I wasn’t coming in. The hell-bitch on the other end of the phone responded, “If you’re sick enough to not come into work, you shouldn’t be on a conference call.” Damn, lady: I have a cold, not Parkinson’s.

People in the workplace have a distrust when it comes to sick days, thus people act like combat marines: “NO, I CAN PUSH FORWARD, I CAN GET THAT TPS REPORT OUT TODAY.” This misplaced toughness is just stupid and ridiculous. Yes, I think if you can still move your arms and fingers, you should aim to get some work done while you’re sick, but you don’t need to go to the office and contaminate everyone else, their families, their families’ workplaces, and on.

Well, I have to go. I have a tee time….doctor’s appointment. Yeah, Dr. Tee. He’s asian.

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