Bloggers are flakes, so you think
People who write a blog for years as a creative outlet
People who write a blog for 6 months and quit when they don’t get rich and/or recognized at the grocery store
So, what kind words you all have had for me. Here I am, dragged into a Mexican prison on April 4, 2009, tortured, fed Comet (it does make you vomit), made to bag cocaine in a corrupt government operation in Juarez, and when I get home, what do I see?
Hey TATTOPITW, why did you quit on us?
Hey TATTOPITW, where did you go, you big loser?
Hey you big douche bag, did you run out of creativity with your stupid little blog that I can’t live without?
I hate you, TATTOPITW, and I hope you’re in a Mexican prison being fed Comet.
Well, aside from that last guy, who was strangely correct, you’re all jerks, but I read the bible 8 times in that small prison cell and I forgive all of you.
I want to get back to writing to get past those horrible memories, suppress those flashbacks of chickens trying to peck my eyes out and watching reruns of Perfect Strangers – you have no idea what you’d be willing to do after letting Balki Bartokomous penetrate your inner thoughts.

The face I wake up to, screaming.
So, while I wish I came back to a supporting fan base, I can accept your frustration and just ask that we all move on. I might not be able to write with the speed and frequency I once was (I had one of my hands sawed off and that damn chicken did manage to scar my right eye), but I’m back in the States where Balki is unwelcome and my safety is assured.
I missed you all. Thanks for the warm welcome.
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Welcome back!
Just so you don’t disappear on us again, I’ll tell you that I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who works at a Mexican prison. I can pull strings.