Established 1776

With your help, we can raise $1,000,000 of awareness.

A world free of rabbis and priests

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...

People who tell jokes from memory

Funny people

People who tell jokes are morons. If I hear another recited joke, especially if it’s one I’ve heard more than 3 times before, I am going to projectile vomit on the person telling the joke and then put the video on youTube.

Now, I’m not saying that the jokes themselves aren’t sometimes cute or entertaining. Comedians make a living re-telling jokes, but at least they wrote them in the first place, which is evident when you watch them perform: their personality is the joke and the words just convey this person’s [sometimes] brilliantly twisted view of the world. But people that read jokes in books or the Internet should be sent to whatever the modern equivalent of Australia’s leper colonies are. Yes, some of these jokes were funny back when How to Win Toddlers and Influence Morons was in its first publishing, but the people who tell them today make me want to go lava diving.

The funniest people that I know are funny because they give you a window into how they view the world, and it doesn’t involve rabbis, Moses, Jesus, black people, or hispanics. Ok, sometimes it does. But it’s not on purpose: there would be an actual rabbi in the story, not a hypothetical rabbi that runs around in his Israeli sports car that not only stops on a dime, but picks it up. Funny people often hear jokes they think are funny, and fail miserably trying to re-tell them, either because they can’t remember them, or they’re more aware of how awkward joke telling is, which appropriately ruins the atmosphere.

I love that we live in a special time where, if we’re unable to laugh with you, we feel comfortable living at you. So basically, if you’re a joke teller, know that we’re laughing at you later, when we’ve finished pretending to laugh at your joke and you’ve walked to the next group of people to re-tell the joke, having just felt validated by our feigned enthusiasm. The cycle will then repeat, and it’s even that much funnier, knowing that more and more people are going to go “ha ha, that’s great”, and then turn around to their friends, bug their eyes out, and make some sort of a “SAVE ME!!!” gesture.

I leave you with some actual examples of funny:

n27302709_30948089_892

The Onion

Stuff White People Like

The Show with Ze Frank (no longer running)

The Fail Blog

The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs (the gig is up here, too)

Share with other people:
  • Digg
  • Facebook
  • del.icio.us
  • Reddit
  • StumbleUpon
  • TwitThis
  • Sphinn
  • E-mail this story to a friend!

October 21, 2008 | Filed Under in general, my life 

comments

Leave a Reply




  • subscribe to this blog



     Subscribe to RSS

    Subscribe with Bloglines

    Add to Google

    Add to Technorati Favorites

    why you are here...

    You are here because you are awesome and you celebrate awesomeness.

    You are here to read a new post every weekday.

    You are here because there are two types of people in the world: people who are here, and people who suck.