TATTOPITW
there are two types of people in the world – sometimes updated weekdaily

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There is a reason your shirt has that many buttons

People who button their shirt to the correct level

People who unbutton the top 2-4 buttons of their dress shirt

Let me start off by saying this: there are few exceptions to the hard and fast rule of buttoning a shirt up to the penultimate button.  These exceptions are known as “hot women”.  No others exist.

Disapproved:

Approved:

Approved:

I wonder how long Google Analytics will tell me how long you hover on that image…

Anyhow, I am pretty fortunate to live in a city where the guys are pretty conservative with their buttoned shirts.  Most people understand that these buttons were invented for the specific reason of vomit-in-mouth prevention, and they work almost flawlessly when used properly.  But occasionally, guys will open the neck hatch a few more clicks, a practice I do not appreciate one bit.  In and around Atlanta, this usually happens in the spring and fall: used as a substitute technique to pissing on trees during our prime cougar hunting months.  But unless your name is Emilio, there is no excuse for this.

I am going to start carrying flypaper around and pay/dare drunk college kids to assault these people’s chest hair.  I’m thinking this can be done somewhere in the $20 – $50 range, which gives me a very high entertainment ROI.  I haven’t figured out what to do about the guys who shave their chest, but maybe their own brain is the punishment they are forced to live with their whole lives, and that might be enough.

In writing this, I have found that blog articles that people might classify as “not safe for work” or NSFW, might also be considered NSFGW, or “not safe for Great Wraps”, which is where I’m sitting as people are troubling themselves to figure out why I’m searching the internet for both men with exposed chests and women with enormous cleavage.  Maybe I’m just an awkwardness vampire, feeding on nervous tension rather than blood.  I’m feeling very strong right now.

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