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Replacing the toilet paper is just a basic part of human decency
(7 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading ...People who replace the toilet paper roll
Evil people who want us to monkey walk to wherever the TP is
When I was a little kid, my parents did everything they could to make sure I wasn’t a drag on the human race, and one of the key lessons that was taught to me was to always replace the toilet paper. Not replacing the TP means causing another person to revert back to ape days and four-paw it to wherever the TP is located, which is just a degrading and evil thing to do. After you have to do the penguin dance a few times, you learn this lesson the hard way.
Capoiera, now a Brazilian fighting style, roughly translates to “poo-poo hiney dance”
Personally, I am a strict constructionist when it comes to TP replacement. Putting another roll on top of the empty TP is not a replacement. Putting rolls within reach, while kind, is also a lazy non-substitute for a replacement. The last thing I’m interested in doing when I’m having my time is having to fiddle with the roll in some torso-twisted position, which might result in the spring-loaded holder flying across the room, thereby forcing me to “palm roll” the TP.
Also, there are the reverse-replacers who put the TP on backwards. This is when the tear occurs on the bottom, rather than the top, of the roll. This is stupid for a number of reasons. #1, you often have to hold the top of the roll because there is not enough resistance. If you try to “quick tear” the roll, yay!, you have Mardi Gras on your lap. #2, when you get a clean tear, the next sheet will recede back between the roll and the wall, forcing you to play Operation as you try to grab the next square without touching the metal holder. BZZZZZT! You have a disease.
All I’m asking for here is a proper replacement. If you grew up in a home without TP replacement or with backwards roll installation, your tell your wolf pack family how to do it right.
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You are here because there are two types of people in the world: people who are here, and people who suck.
There’s also a third type of person. The type of person that has realized that toilet paper should be relegated to the 18th century, where it belongs. LONG LIVE WET WIPES!!
I am compelled to throw up in my mouth right now.
I threw up before reading the comments.
Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it. It’s one of the most beautiful experiences in the world.
What? Using wet wipes or throwing up in your mouth?
Clearly throwing up in your mouth. Using wet wipes would just be disgusting.
i am still not sure which way to put the toilet paper roll on – does the paper roll OVER the top? or does is come from the back & hang against the wall? didn’t realize there was a correct way – but then again, I don’t have a traditional toilet paper hanger…
Definitely over the top. When it hangs against the wall, that’s backwards.
Now on to more important things. What is this nontraditional TP holder?
Aaaah jokes about poop. A comedy classic. Poop comedy has always provided levity in troubled times. During the black plague people would shit themselves and pretend to be dead. When the body collectors came around with their wheelbarrows they would pop up and literally scare the shit out of them. There was brief anger, then laughter.
I think Obama will be your president whether you replace the toilet paper or not. He doesn’t care if you hang it facing the wall or facing out. And it’s time America put these divisive issues behind us, came together and fulfilled the promise of our nation!
I’m expecting a Proposition in California on the wet wipes issue. I don’t think we’re ready yet to accept this as mainstream.