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there are two types of people in the world – sometimes updated weekdaily

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Cat people…ick.

Cat People

People who do not scare me in some fundamental way

Yesterday, I got an email from a friend that was meant to brighten my day.  These pictures of a cat show definitely did that, but I’m finding, lately, that pictures like these are a bit like pharmaceutical drugs.  A pill might lower your cholesterol, but it may also induce vomiting, blindness, suicidal tendencies, and leprosy.  Pictures like these do brighten my day, but they simultaneously make me wonder if all people are just screwed in the head.  It’s a mixed blessing.

Where’s that right hand?  Was that shirt dug out of an elephant’s butt? [insert cat's thoughts here] CAPTION OVERLOAD!!!!

So obviously, this email got me thinking about cat people in general.  They are pretty simple to describe:

• Female
• BMI at least 20% above ideal
• Wear strange clothing and gold jewelry
• Single
• Have a computer password like “pussypaws” or something to that effect

OK, I’m busted: I’m just describing the picture.  Of course there are exceptions.  There are attractive girls who own cats (WTF?).  There are men who own cats (well, not men, but humans with man parts).  There are even people who are capable of communicating with other people who own cats.  But most of the cat owners fit the above description.

A girl I work with was about a fraction of a misfired neuron from adopting a blind cat.  She is a very nice girl, she is very pretty, and has a great personality, but for some reason this one chromosome has flipped around and she likes cats.  She ended up not getting the cat (who would need eyedrops, several times daily) because the cat maintenance interfered with her social life.  Yes, I used the words cat and social life in the same sentence.  Someone, if you have any idea of how I can have an intervention, please tell me and I’ll do whatever I can to get this fish back into the ocean.

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