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You never know when you're going to need to bust a move

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People who pull into parking spaces

People who back into parking spaces

Parking Grand Prix Style
If shit goes down, advantage Lexus.

Ok, so this is the third post that I have written from pictures I took without moving more than 11 feet, so let me know if this is getting old (first, second). Or maybe I’ll make this some sort of quest: how many posts can I write from pictures I take without moving more than 11 feet? A lot, so buckle up, bitches.

In Atlanta, we have the highest population of people who back into parking spaces, with the exception of Hong Kong, who is cheating because all of those damn rickshaws always back in and throw off the statistics.

city-parker-percentages
Source: Me

Atlanta does, however, dominate the rest of the engine-powered cities, with Los Angeles coming in second. A deeper look into this reveals that both Atlanta and Los Angeles have the highest populations of gangstas with Bentleys, Ferraris, Porsches, and Chrysler 300Ms, which have a 100% back-in participation rate. In New York, where this population also exists, there are no parking spaces. Parallel parking is not factored into this study. Additionally, most New Yorkers with cars don’t park themselves, and professional parkers such as hotel bellmen and valets are exempt in the study.

The study also revealed that females in Atlanta will disregard their genetic parking setbacks and attempt back-ins as well. These usually took several attempts and an average of 2.6 calls to State Farm Insurance before the car was successfully in the spot and damage to other vehicles, pets, and government property was financed. In most other cities in the study, women were on their way to a workplace, unwilling to make the significant time investment of backing into a parking space, which was not an issue in Buckhead neighborhood of Atlanta where much of the study’s data were gathered and women are responsible for economic stimulus through investment in Juicy Couture as opposed to earning.

The study concludes that, while the causality of backing in is a mix of many factors, the primary character trait of people who back in is that they are assholes.

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October 22, 2008 | Filed Under in cars 

comments

One Response to “You never know when you're going to need to bust a move”

  1. Short on November 7th, 2008

    What about “pull-through” parkers? They get the benefits of the back-in, but without the extra 15 seconds of effort.

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