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In Case You Were Wondering If I Just Turned

People who use their turn signal to indicate they are about to turn

People who use their turn signal to indicate they have already turned

Driving around Atlanta, you see a lot of things that fall into the “interesting” category, a few things that fall into the “annoying” category, and a handful of things that fall into the “I am going to buy a rocket launcher on the black market” category. The use of turn signals generally falls into the last category.

By this point, I think it is becoming clear that we have a serious driving issue in Atlanta, but for the sake of continuing to make me look creative over time, we will look at each issue individually, so you can suffer through it as much as I do. Doesn’t that sound nice?

To illustrate the phenomenon I’m talking about, I’ve created the following picture, diagraming where one would hope that a turn signal was used, and where the typical Atlantan activates their signal:

As you can see here, the typical Atlantan has 9 more brain cells than a sea monkey, activating their turn signal more than halfway into the completion of their turn. This phenomenon is seen across races, creeds, and religions; so I think it’s just Atlanta.

Now you’re saying to yourself, “Evan, you must be exaggerating, you terribly attractive and intelligent man.” No, I am not exaggerating. And thank you. This does happen in 86.9% of turns in the city of Atlanta, according to undisclosed sources. It is an epidemic.

I think that the most appropriate thing to do at this point is to just rename this device to the “turned signal”, and it will serve the dual purpose of alerting other cars “Yes, you did just witness a turn”, and “I have little to no desire to move my vehicle into the indicated lane, so please cut me off at your earliest convenience”.

Problem solved.

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