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Bad Parking Should Be A Felony

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Left: People who park within the boundary of a parking space

Right: People with little disregard for fellow man, co worker, or their own property

Do you ever feel like buying an old Ford F150 just so you can smash into another car that parked so awfully it affects more than 5 other cars? Yeah, me neither, but I guess some people do.

bad parking

While walking into the mall to feed my Apple lust the other day, I saw no less than 10 cars that would qualify for a bat to the windshield. Of course the one here is not exactly an Aston Martin, but one thing I’ve noticed is that bad parking is not partial to race, creed, or religion. Bad parking can be a Porsche, a Pinto, young, old, a man, a woman, and even those people who you can’t tell if they’re a man or a woman. Bad parking does not discriminate, but I have a dream that my four (unborn) little children will one day live in a nation where people are harshly judged by the quality of their parking. I want to bring the locks and stockades back and put the bad parkers in there. Maybe even give them a scarlet P. Until we make an example of these people, the problem will continue.

The thing that I find most confusing about this whole parking issue is that it’s not just a disservice to other people, it’s also a statement to “please do whatever you want to my car. I don’t give a damn about it.” These cars are keyed, dented, tires deflated (not slashed, that’s just bad style), etc.; so do these people really wonder “why?” when they get back or do they just shrug and say, “Is that all you got?” Maybe we need to up the ante. I’m thinking that a service that could pick a car up, turn it upside down, and put it back on the ground with minimal damage might be a great business idea if you can figure out how to do this cheaply – like “We’ll charge you $25 to flip a car over, just for your own satisfaction.”

I can hear the phone calls between spouses now: “Dammit, Margie! This is the third time this month. Maybe you AREN’T responsible enough to drive that nice Altima I got you. Maybe we should go back to the Ford Focus since you don’t SEEM TO GIVE A DAMN!”

Now that’s a conversation I’d like to overhear from an adjoining office in the next 6 months.

Angel Investors, please use the contact form to buy shares in the car flipping business and get this thing started.

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September 16, 2008 | Filed Under in cars 

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