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Oh Please, Let My Mother Pay

People who use gift cards on a date

People who will be married before age 58

A few weeks ago, I was out having a nice dinner next to one of those couples who you can tell was on a first date. It was likely a blind date, too, or it was about to be a blind date because the woman was trying to stab her eyes out with her salad fork. I think it’s safe to say it was not going well.

The guy was doing most of the talking because, on a blind date, the less attractive of the two people always does the talking. He was talking about his job, how stupid his co-workers are, how brilliant his ideas are, where he had traveled (Sandals), and all sorts of things someone in solitary confinement would find interesting.

They enjoyed dinner, dessert, and finally coffee. Then the bill came. Phase one of date from hell began: the guy didn’t touch the bill. Not one iota of trying to pick that little folder up. The waitress appropriately put the bill exactly in the middle of the table, and there it awkwardly sat as he went on talking and she went on nodding, silently committing seppuku behind her napkin.

Finally, after about 3 minutes, he announces loudly enough for several tables to hear, “let me get this one, I have a gift card.” He proceeded to pay for the entire meal with his “AutoCAD Drafter of the Month” winnings from work. I think what is more embarrassing than using a gift card to help pay for a $150 dinner is using a gift card to pay for the entire meal. What kind of person has a $200 gift card for a restaurant?

I’m seeing more and more snafus as the world gets more “progressive”, but guys not paying for dates is just a little too much of a glimpse into the complete absence of happiness in a marriage. Keep your [gift] cards closer to your chest, guys.

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