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Filet-O-Fish is one of the top-5 foods on earth

People who have eaten a filet-o-fish

People who are yet to experience communion at the Church of Ronald

Most people like food.  Most of those people like good food, even great food, but so few people have eaten one of the finest items served on any menu in this great nation of ours.  Yes, I am speaking of the Filet-O-Fish.

A first-timer’s face says “expectations are low”, but this is the dawn of a lifelong relationship

Now, I don’t normally eat anything that has an “O”-modifier, which pretty much knocks half of any chincy Irish pub’s menu off of my list, but I have always been more than willing to make an exception for this hallmark of American achievement.

The ingredients involved in the filet-o-fish are simple and gag reflex inducing: a square fish patty, a square piece of american cheese, a dollop of tartar sauce, sandwiched between a bun so perfectly made from indigestible white flour it makes Wonderbread look like whole wheat.  For most people, that slice of american cheese is the outlier in the group, but I promise it is the secret ingredient in this handful of success so elegantly presented to you in its own sandwich coffin.  Nobody puts baby in a wrapper.

Everyone get out there and celebrate this great nation of excess by grabbing yourself a f-o-f this week.  You’ll thank me.

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