TATTOPITW
there are two types of people in the world – sometimes updated weekdaily

• Home
• about the author
• have an idea?
• RSS

Established 1776

With your help, we can raise $1,000,000 of awareness.

• Recently Written

  • My PT Cruiser Can Do 0-60. Period.
  • Here’s to the weirdos, in general
  • Where emails go to die
  • Supersize me
  • Does anyone seriously need that much wintery chill?
  • Its rediculous when you’re spelling get’s in the way
  • Have you ever been stall-ked?
  • How a clarinet can destroy a life
  • I’m sure your zero friends are impressed by your income
  • Great email signatures

• Highest Rated

  • Metaphors are better than butterflies on a pickup truck full of beets (5.00 out of 5)
  • Rain melts brains (5.00 out of 5)
  • People Who Drive In The Left Lane (5.00 out of 5)
  • My PT Cruiser Can Do 0-60. Period. (5.00 out of 5)
  • Here’s to the weirdos, in general (4.92 out of 5)
  • The airport bathroom is not a good place for speakerphone (4.89 out of 5)
  • Why is mommy dressed like your secret friend, daddy? (4.86 out of 5)
  • Must. Fight. Plaque. (4.75 out of 5)
  • “2″ is code for “make everyone hate me” (4.71 out of 5)
  • Its rediculous when you’re spelling get’s in the way (4.70 out of 5)

• Categories

  • at work (17)
  • food and eating (16)
  • health (5)
  • in cars (10)
  • in general (31)
  • my life (9)
  • politics (1)
  • sports (3)
  • technology (3)
  • travel (7)
  • Uncategorized (2)

• Archives

  • May 2010 (1)
  • August 2009 (3)
  • July 2009 (12)
  • April 2009 (2)
  • March 2009 (4)
  • February 2009 (2)
  • January 2009 (7)
  • December 2008 (7)
  • November 2008 (12)
  • October 2008 (21)
  • September 2008 (17)

Does anyone seriously need that much wintery chill?

People who eat the small peppermint patties

People who eat the huge peppermint patties

You know when you go to a gas station and they have the huge, cheeseburger-sized peppermint patties?  Who in the hell can eat one of those things?  It’s like a little mint pizza, and I get a wintery-fresh gag reflex just thinking about mint pizza.  Sorry.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’ll pop a little peppermint patty like a gorilla pops ants off a stick. They’re delicious little guys, but I’m definitely going to max out at 1.5 to 2 of them.  I could never deal with the peppermint frisbee: it’s just over the top.

After you finish your candy, you can tear the package open and have one of those shiny post-marathon blankets to keep your shoulders warm.

I just think that part of the magic of candy is proper sizing.  Candy makers have to size the candy just right so when you finish it, you’re either satisfied or you exercise poor judgment in buying another bar / bag.  Once you’ve started on that second bar, you realize your mistake, but you blame yourself, not the candy.  When you eat a large peppermint patty, you say, “Good Messiah, I’m not eating another one of these for at least 6 months.”  Candy’s fault.  Candy suffers.  Snickers has sold 2 bars in one day to one person, and York is going to sell 2 mint moon pies in a year.

comments

• subscribe to this blog

  
  
   Subscribe to RSS
  
  
  
  
  
  

  why you are here...

  You are here because you are awesome and you celebrate awesomeness.
  
  You are here to read a new post every weekday.
  
  You are here because there are two types of people in the world: people who are here, and people who suck.