http://www.tattopitw.com there are two types of people in the world - updated weekdaily Mon, 05 Jan 2009 20:55:21 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en People who use the speakerphone feature in appropriate situations People who use the speakerphone feature in inappropriate situations I've been meaning to talk about this for a long time.  This is one of those things that you see so many times in a given day, it's hard to know exactly which way ... http://www.tattopitw.com/in-general/the-airport-bathroom-is-not-a-good-place-for-speakerphone/ People who write the Christmas update People who hate the Christmas update, but read them anyhow, out of curiosity Every year, I get more Christmas cards than I have friends.  When we send Christmas cards out, we usually go to Target, pick up a card that looks festive, and send them off ... http://www.tattopitw.com/uncategorized/christmas-is-a-time-to-tell-people-youre-better-than-them/ People who have "Support Wildlife" license plates People who do not regularly hunt wildlife with assault rifles I've been working really hard lately on reducing road rage, per my wife's orders.  I used to see other cars as the enemy: a chaotic moving obstacle fueled by Atlantans' self-loathing and lost dreams, but ... http://www.tattopitw.com/in-general/i-support-wildlife-with-my-ak-47/ People who would buy a Pontiac People who would not buy a Pontiac, even if subjected to various forms of torture and / or Britney Spears music We live in a time of uncertainty.  When will the terrorists strike again?  What is going on with this economy?  Am I going to have ... http://www.tattopitw.com/in-cars/pontiacs-are-ugly-period/ People who drive more carefully in inclement weather People who make the police say, "How the hell did this happen?" when they get to the scene Today in Atlanta, the gods are relieving themselves after a long night of drinking, and it's a mess out there.  Usually a rainy day will bring ... http://www.tattopitw.com/in-cars/rain-melts-brains/ People who buy real Christmas trees People who buy fake Christmas trees We live in a day where everything real has a fake counterpart - for our comfort and convenience, of course.  Are you a lazy turd with little sunlight in your home?  Buy a fake plant.  Want to keep up with ... http://www.tattopitw.com/in-general/fake-christmas-trees-are-for-fake-families/ People who are drawn in to trash emails Those people's children I think I'm starting to see a seasonality to chain emails / SPAM / generally ridiculous nonsense.  Lately, the volume has gone up dramatically vs. the summer, and while I'm not sure why this is, if anyone out there needs Viagra, ... http://www.tattopitw.com/in-general/i-have-won-the-rwandan-lottery-18-times-this-year/ People who buy luxury toilet paper People who like to wipe their butt with recycled thumbtacks and glass shards Well I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving.  I really mean that, with few exceptions. Thanksgiving is a time for family, a time to gain 5 lbs., and a time to go to someone ... http://www.tattopitw.com/my-life/thanksgiving-rubbed-me-the-wrong-way/ Cat People People who do not scare me in some fundamental way Yesterday, I got an email from a friend that was meant to brighten my day.  These pictures of a cat show definitely did that, but I'm finding, lately, that pictures like these are a bit like pharmaceutical drugs.  A pill ... http://www.tattopitw.com/in-general/cat-peopleick/ People who withdraw $10 and pay a $3 ATM fee People who make massive "rob me" withdraws but get the better end of the deal Now I realize that there aren't a slew of economics majors out there, but this one is a pretty easy win, unless you're scared of being robbed ... http://www.tattopitw.com/travel/how-to-increase-your-net-worth-80-today/ People who hit the elevator button additional times People who have no arms, no legs, no nose, or any other suitable protrusion, and are in a coma So this idea has been sent to me from a number of people and stated in a number of different ways, but the gist of ... http://www.tattopitw.com/work/repeat-elevator-button-pushers-humankind/ People who have eaten a filet-o-fish People who are yet to experience communion at the Church of Ronald Most people like food.  Most of those people like good food, even great food, but so few people have eaten one of the finest items served on any menu in this great nation of ours. ... http://www.tattopitw.com/food-and-eating/filet-o-fish-is-one-of-the-top-5-foods-on-earth/ People who button their shirt to the correct level People who unbutton the top 2-4 buttons of their dress shirt Let me start off by saying this: there are few exceptions to the hard and fast rule of buttoning a shirt up to the penultimate button.  These exceptions are known as "hot women". ... http://www.tattopitw.com/in-general/there-is-a-reason-your-shirt-has-that-many-buttons/ People who have meetings to accomplish something People who have meetings where they meet to plan a meeting where there will be planning to meet to devise a planning strategy for strategic meeting plans. This morning, I woke up very early for a meeting.  At the conclusion of the meeting, we decided ... http://www.tattopitw.com/work/lets-meet-to-plan-our-planning-meeting/ People who have keen awareness of things, in general People who have zero awareness of things, in general There are some days that I know exactly what I'm going to write here.  I'm thinking about it on my way to work, when I'm brushing my teeth, when I'm skipping breakfast, etc.  And ... http://www.tattopitw.com/in-general/lord-show-me-a-sign/ People who take the elevator to go 1 floor People who take the stairs The other people on the elevator were NOT happy when I was taking this picture. America has a major obesity problem.  What a person weighs is related to two things, and two things only: how much crap you stuff ... http://www.tattopitw.com/work/people-who-ride-the-elevator-one-floor/ People who cross the street quickly People who cross the street slowly (on purpose) I guarantee that this woman is going 8x as fast as the average Atlantan street crosser Call me crazy, but I have a healthy fear of objects that can kill me very easily.  In the matchup of flesh and ... http://www.tattopitw.com/in-cars/people-who-cross-the-street-quickly-slowly/ People who are professional food critics People who think they are professional food critics Culinary genius at work.  Let's put chocolate chips on pancakes.  How do people come up with this stuff? Yelp thought they were helping us.  It is a great idea: put the power back in the hands of the people ... http://www.tattopitw.com/food-and-eating/arbys-is-one-of-the-best-restaurants-in-atlanta/ People who think Barack Obama is going to destroy America People who think John McCain is going to destroy America Happy election day!  To celebrate the many friendships and bonds that will be ruined by people's political leanings today, TATTOPITW is going to offer a quick breakdown of the candidates. Barack Obama Hey, Robin ... http://www.tattopitw.com/politics/barack-and-john-destroy-the-world/ People who replace the toilet paper roll Evil people who want us to monkey walk to wherever the TP is When I was a little kid, my parents did everything they could to make sure I wasn't a drag on the human race, and one of the key lessons that was taught ... http://www.tattopitw.com/in-general/people-who-dont-replace-the-toilet-paper-roll/